Market bubbles, crypto nonsense, Wall Street greed, economic farce
Coinbase loses $667M as customers flee, but celebrates because some desperate gamblers are still throwing money into the void. Corporate delusion meets crypto winter.
How libertarian coders accidentally recreated every financial disaster in history while burning Argentina's worth of electricity to mint worthless tokens and pretending they'd revolutionized money.
As crypto revenue craters 38%, Robinhood's CEO discovers a 'prediction market super cycle'—because what retail investors really need is another sophisticated way to lose money.
Silicon Valley has convinced us that glorified autocomplete is the Second Coming. The circular financing schemes and nineteen-fold increase in data center securitization suggest otherwise.
The Fed pivots from rate cuts to possible hikes in two weeks, proving once again that central banking is just expensive improv theater with PhDs.
America advertises tax-advantaged investment accounts for babies during the Super Bowl, names them after a sitting president, and calls it policy. The grift is bipartisan. The children are collateral.
When AI companies blow millions on Super Bowl ads to convince drunk football fans their chatbots matter, you're watching the Pets.com sock puppet moment for a new generation — except this time the puppet is wearing a neural network.